6 Spells for Self-Love (to Rewire Your Brain)

Want to be less of a c*** to yourself? Here are some affirmations to work with. I call them spells because statements like these literally rewire our nervous systems. They reroute the neural pathways that keep us stuck in patterns of self-deprecation and self-blame. And when we shift these negative beliefs, even in tiny increments, our energy shifts. Which changes the way we show up in the world, and the way the world responds to us. And that’s pure magic.

1. I forgive myself for believing I am unworthy of the love and security that is my birth right, and any harm I have done to myself and others because of it.

Let it go. What’s done is done. You’ve definitely done shitty things because we’ve all done shitty things. And we all deserve redemption. So let’s just decide, right now, that those shitty things you did were the result of your own pain and confusion, and therefore forgivable. Maybe you were just desperate to belong. Maybe you didn’t have the best role model for how to treat people, particularly yourself. Maybe your nervous system is dysregulated for myriad physiological and socio-economic reasons and fear has been driving much of your behaviour. It’s done now. Today is a new day and we’re starting fresh. Forgive and move on.

2. I release all fear for the future, pain over the past, disappointment, inadequacy, and pressure to perform my life.

Feel free to throw in any other icky feeling that have been stuck in your body, such as anxiety, stress, anger, shame, grief, numbness. Acknowledge them. They came to provide you with information. When we live our lives for other people – pleasing, performing, trying to be perfect – we’re abandoning ourselves. Our bodies are wired for survival and cannot bear to be abandoned – it is the ultimate pain. But as an adult, it is nobody else’s responsibility to look after you (sorry). So coming back to yourself and listening to how you’re feeling is the route to inner safety and security. Yes, it takes some bravery. But you got this.

3. I am safe to be myself and trust in the unfolding of my own unique life path.

There ain’t no one else living your life. No one else has been through the exact same experiences, and no one else is overcoming what you are overcoming. Only you can know what you want and need from your life. So let’s end the comparisonitis. Let’s stop striving to meet the arbitrary metrics of ‘achievement’ from a very limited worldview. Shut out the noise of everyone else’s opinions and perceptions, and listen to the inherent wisdom of your body. Only you have the answers you need.

4. I love myself unconditionally on all levels and release any fear, doubt, guilt or shame around honouring my own needs.

If this or indeed any other of these statements feels a little edgy, work with ‘I give myself permission to…’ (love myself and honour my own needs, etc) for as long as it takes for these ideas to sit comfortably in your body.

5. I am a sacred, secure, smart, beautiful and infinitely creative bad*ss b*tch capable of extraordinary things.

Yes you are. Look how far you’ve come. Look at everything you’ve coped with. Look at everything you’ve done. You contain multitudes, babe.

6. I deserve to follow my dreams and thrive, knowing I am loved, supported and held in everything I do.

If you believe this about the people you love, then it’s time to believe it about yourself. You are allowed to. You have permission.

How to work with these self-love affirmations

Sit with each one and see how they make you feel in your body. Really tune in. Put your hand on your heart and feel your heartbeat. Breathe as if you are breathing directly into your heart, slowly, counting to six on the in-breath and six on the out-breath. Close your eyes and take minute or so do this. It creates a coherent rhythm, which brings the nervous system into parasympathetic activation, a state where our brains are more malleable to learn new beliefs and release old patterns. Coming into a feeling of gratitude and appreciation enhances this, so visualise something that brings you gratitude. A memory, a pet, a sunset. Something beautiful in your life. Crossing the midline will also help (it connects the left and right hemispheres of the brain), so cross your legs if you can. In this relaxed state, say the affirmations out loud and let them sink into your body. Come back to them as often as you need and notice if you feel a shift in how they land in your body. If you are familiar with Emotional Freedom Technique, you can also repeat the affirmations while tapping, or you could write them out in your journal regularly, meditate on them, stick them on a post-it on your mirror, or come up with your own.

Want to work with life-changing magic together? Register your interest in my next Spells for Self-Love workshop, or get in touch to book a chat about self-love coaching through the form below.